Food reviews suck. If I have to read the word "cloying" in connection with any review of a restaurant or meal ever again, so help me god. As someone who thinks constantly about eating, when I read a restaurant review, I want it to tell me if I am going to get good food at a price that makes sense for the quality of what I'm eating. Instead, I get excessive, bloated formulaic reviews that use way too many ridiculous adjectives to indicate that something tastes sweet, salty, or spicy. Foodies beware, I am blunt, ruthless, and don't give a shit how much you know about food. I have no qualifications other than I eat. Alot.
Bon. Appetit. Assholes!
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