Wah Kee= LIKEY.

Just don't order anything that sounds familiar--you know like "kung pao blah blah blah" or "general tsao's yada yada", because guess what, you'll get what you asked for--slimy, salty, fatty chinese food in astronomical portions designed specifically for the hungry white man. Consider yourself warned.

Luckily, the rest of the menu is huge, and if you can pry your little eyes away from the moo shoo and grow a pair, you might consider trying some of the rice plates, which are a bargain at $6-$8, plus they come with soup. My favorite is the Chinese broccoli with beef. If you've never had Chinese broccoli, or if you are deeply afraid of vegetables that have their stems attached, then you should quit being a pussy and order this anyways because the beef is tender and delicious, and the Chinese broccoli is fresh and crisp. Make sure you order it with hot sauce, which the owner makes in house- one of the best I've ever had.

Other favorites: The Cantonese style fried noodles, while a bit greasy, taste like the noodle version of crack--thin egg noodles tossed with chinese bbq pork, shrimp, napa cabbage, egg, and scallions in a slightly sweet ginger soy sauce. Perfect for when you're starving, can't make up your mind on what you want to eat, and only want to spend $8.

Because vegetables are good for you, and because your intestines will thank you for it later, make sure to take advantage of Wah Kee's mysterious "sauteed chinese vegetable" plate, which is usually yau choi, chinese broccoli, or spinach depending on what they've got in the kitchen.

If you don't just love vegetables, but are actually vegetarian, then I highly suggest stir fried tofu with eggplant. The tofu is firm and silky, not the fried kind, and the eggplant is soft, perfectly absorbing the garlicky flavor of the sauce. Again, this one tastes good with the hot sauce if you're into that. If you don't like spicy food, you are weak.

Remember: Avoid the usual suspects. Try the dishes that sound "different" or "exotic" or "whatever". Portions are huge, so stop eating once you start feeling full you fat fuck and take the rest home for later! This place is pretty casual, so remember to where pants. Do not, however, under any circumstances where socks with your sandals.

The bill: For dinner, 2 entrees plus a vegetable side, the total came to something like $21 + tax/tip. Expect plenty of leftovers.